In reaction to story in Out West #36
Dear Mr. Woodbury,
You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, they say, so first I want to commend you on your VERY articulate writing, especially on your piece about the "Testicle Festival," which was the "honey." Now, for the vinegar:
With such a gift-of-gab at your disposal, I have to wonder why you would waste your time writing such a low-level kind of article, and glorifying the vulgarity of this "festival," except that it might serve to titillate the more crude segment of the population.
My husband and I agreed that it was the kind of almost "locker room" subject that might be a big thing among high-school boys who had just begun to experience (or make little of) the male genitals of either the human OR the animal species.
It also, again, proves that men think very little of their reproductive equipment so that it is frequently the subject for poor jokes and snide remarks -- once again proving that more of their time is spent in being occupied with what is between their thighs than what is between their ears. Or, put into easy vernacular -- they think more highly of their b--ls than they do of their brains. Result: they end up thinking with the b---ls.
Norma B.
Vancouver, Washington
MY RESPONSE
Dear Norma,
You are wrong! My story is not locker room material! I could not possibly write locker room material because I have not been in a locker room for FOUR YEARS! And the last locker room I was in was at a golf resort, where the only thing the guys talked about was money!
Guys over 40 already know what's between their thighs. We're not stupid, you know. What we guys really need to know is more about MONEY -- as in "How To Get More Of It!!!" So that's what we talk about. Ask your husband; he might know, especially if he's a golfer, which involves playing with balls, either his own balls or someone else's balls in case he loses his like I sometimes do when I hit out of bounds into the weeds where dastardly rattlesnakes hide.
I am not interested in searching for my balls in places where I might get bitten to death by a slithering and stinky reptile. And do they ever stink! Norma, have you ever held a snake and then smelled your hands afterwards? Yuch! Peeee Uuuuuu!!
And, on the subject of flies: I believe it is far more important to KILL flies than to CATCH flies! So it's no big deal to me if honey works great to catch the filthy little poop eaters. Why would I want to catch flies?
I don't need no stinkin' flies.
©1998 by Out West Newspaper
Do you have any comments or update information about this story? Please e-mail Chuck Woodbury.
BACK TO TESTICLE FESTIVAL STORY
BACK TO FAVORITE FEATURES PAGE
BACK TO OUT WEST HOME PAGE
Out West, 9792 Edmonds Way, Suite 265-A, Edmonds, WA 98020. 800-274-9378. Fax: (425) 776-3398. One year subscription in USA $12.95 ($15 outside the states). E-mail: outwest@seanet.com. On the Web: http://www.outwestnewspaper.com